Mothers Milk

Mothers Milk 2010
(Self portrait)
C Type Print
19.5" x 28.5"

This image, Mothers Milk 2010, won Hettie Judahs North America, Acts of Creation: On Art and Motherhood competition in 2024.
This was my accompanying statement…

It was difficult to re-vist these works.
When I made this image I was in my 40's with two boys under two. We were living in London. My husband was away for work almost constantly for three years and I felt completely alone. I had crippling post natal depression but I didn't share it with anyone.
Throughout my art practice I have used performance style self portraiture to explore and articulate the unspeakable. So it was natural to continue that practice through miscarriage, my pregnancy, and the early years of motherhood, but it was such a difficult time that I rarely share the work.
I didn't make it to my studio for over a year but I made work whenever I could at home. I used the materials I had to hand in the home, toys, milk, dirty nappies, playdough, pastry, finger paints etc. I wanted so badly to breastfeed but it was terribly painful. The milk formula became a symbol of all the rage and frustration and fear I felt.
This brilliant community of artist mothers that Hettie is showing here and in her exhibition has made me feel braver about sharing this work.

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